


July

by LMillay



Category: Sand Castle (2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:53:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27637796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMillay/pseuds/LMillay
Summary: Feels like a lifetimeJust tryna get byWhile we're dying insideI've done a lot of things wrongLoving you being oneBut I can't move on-Noah Cyrus-
Relationships: Captain Syverson (Sand Castle)/Original Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

She was born in the heat of a Texan July; her mother had nearly died giving birth to her and she did die years later when she was only three. She had been left with her father to raise her, a drunk but he gave her one grace, teaching her about cars. She was a goddamn prodigy with cars and the military had instantly signed her up to ship out when they realized it. That was the one and only thing he knew about her, everything else was useless. He didn't plan on getting attached to her, didn't plan on staying with her when they parted ways and she was the same, she just needed someone to keep her company. She was beautiful, a lot of the military guys went after her, including a few of his own men but she had only befriended them, not wanting a relationship. They got together randomly but quickly found kindred spirits, though they would always chalk it up to simple primal needs. Their relationship was a secret, they couldn't tell anyone else and it made it better for both, the less awareness the less attachment.

She lived off base since making E-5 rank, she enjoyed the freedom of not being restricted to the base and dealing with the other military members. She was on time and stayed late most times, she garnered the appreciation of the higher-ups. Syverson appreciated her ability to fix vehicles, no matter the problem, and how easily she figured them out.

When he had downtime, rare, but when he had it, he would disappear and go to her place. It was there he found solace from the nightmares, the constant pressure, and the loneliness. Together they filled the need for something more, for that personal intimacy that the military robbed you of and let the warzone be forgotten for a few hours.

She had gone home, finishing her work on time and Syverson had some time off, he headed over to her place. Knocking on the door, he wiped at his brow and looked around the hall, the door opened.

“Hey,” she said quietly, and he nodded at her as he passed into her apartment.

“Hey,” he replied, and she shut the door, he looked around. It smelled amazing, he assumed she had been making dinner and she moved to the kitchen, confirming his assumptions.

“You hungry?” she asked, stirring something in the pot and he shrugged, sitting on the couch. “Well, I made enough,” she said and dished the food out onto two plates, he eyed it from across the room. “Come on, it’s not going to kill you, not any more than the shit they feed on base,” she pushed, and he got off the couch, taking a seat at the table. He looked at the plate. “Couscous, chicken and beans,” she offered, and he picked up his fork. She watched as he put it in his mouth and chewed on.

“It’s good,” he agreed.

“Told you,” she said, and they continued eating. They ate in silence, as most of their relationship was, silence and no fulfilling conversation, just sex. And that’s where they ended up after the meal, in bed and she fell asleep shortly after. He got out of bed and went into the kitchen, noticing the dirty dishes. He sighed and picked them up, cleaning them off before washing them. He put them back in the cabinets and sat on her couch, flipping the television on.

He must have fallen asleep on the couch, he woke up to her shaking his shoulder and he opened one eye, staring at her.

“What happened?” he asked, rubbing his eyes and wincing as he took his foot off the table, his knee cracked.

“You fell asleep out here,” she said. “Why don’t you come to bed,” she offered, and he nodded, getting up slowly. She made her way back to the bed and climbed in, watching as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He untied his boots, kicking them to the side, and laid back, sighing happily at the comfort. The cots back at the base were bearable but there was nothing like the comfort of a mattress. He closed his eyes, she pulled the sheet over him and laid back down.

“Syverson!” she shouted, she sat on top of him and held his shoulders down. His eyes flew open, but she saw the familiar look in his eyes, he didn’t see her. He saw the battle, the war, and the enemy. She held him down as best she could, putting all her strength on his shoulders, and continued to shout his name.

“Brodie?” he breathed finally, and she saw him return.

“Syverson, you were having a nightmare,” she said, and he sighed, she rolled on her back when she was sure he was awake. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, swinging his leg off the bed. “Where are you going?” she asked and he shook his head, getting up. She watched as he walked out on the balcony, grabbing his cigarettes from his pocket and lit up. She sighed and followed him out, taking the cigarette from his hand as he stood looking out over the city.

“Thank you,” he said, gazing at her and she shrugged, staring out at the city.

“We’ve all been there,” she said and handed the cigarette back to him. “Some more than others,” she said, and he nodded.

“But I mean thank you for letting me stay here,” he said, and she looked at him, quietly eyeing him.

“We share the same demons,” she said, and he nodded. “Yours are just bigger than mine,” she said, and he smiled sadly at her. She turned and leaned against the balcony. “So, tell me, Syverson, what’s home life for you?” she asked, and he gazed at her.

“What do you mean?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“Why are you doing all this? Everyone has something back home they’re fighting for,” she said, and he nodded.

“I don’t know what mine is been doing this so long, it’s just automatic,” he said, and she smiled.

“Come on, you’re telling me Captain Syverson doesn’t have some big tit, sexy country girl waiting for him at home?” she asked, and he laughed, a rarity, shaking his head.

“No, no I don’t,” he agreed, and she smiled.

“That surprises me,” she said, and he shook his head, inhaling his cigarette.

“What about you, Brodie?” he asked, and she sighed.

“I had someone,” she said and shrugged. “The distance became a bitch,” she said, and he offered his cigarette, she took it. “He wasn’t as faithful as I thought, he thought I was the unfaithful one, it was a clusterfuck,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Ah, I’m better off anyway,” she said and sighed. “We got each other for a while at least,” she said, and he nodded. She went back into the apartment and he looked back at the city. They had each other, even though neither wanted the commitment or attachment. They both knew what both those things brought, heartbreak, they had enough of that.

The early morning sun cast into the room, Syverson stood watching as she slept, and he pulled the sheet up slightly to cover her naked body. He wished he could give her more of everything, including himself but he wasn’t that type, he couldn’t be that for her. He didn’t think she wanted it either, last night had been a rare occurrence for both: a civil conversation. Usually, it was alcohol-infused rage and primal sex, him storming out of the apartment. She was peace but she was also his absolute chaos, drawing him back in every night. He leaned down and kissed her temple before leaving, she would be getting up soon to report for duty. He didn’t want to stay, to have breakfast and head into work together, that was far too much commitment. He shut the door quietly and put his hat on, jogging down the steps. He got in his truck and returned to base, leaving behind a semblance of what life could be like if he didn’t have the monsters swimming around in his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey! Shaws!" she shouted and the blonde turned back, smiling at her. "Try to hit the target this time!" she called out and he smiled brighter.

"Try not to fuck up our trucks, Brod!" he called, pointing a finger at her and she smiled.

"Only yours!" she shouted and he laughed, putting his helmet on his head. He got into his truck and she watched as the convoy left the base, she went back to work. She had shipped in with him, they shared a similar sense of humor and would tease each other back and forth. He was one of the very few that didn’t try to make advances on her, and she appreciated that. Besides Syverson, he was her closest friend on base and the difference was that she could be open about her friendship with him. With Syverson, she to be all cloak and dagger because he was her higher up.

She heard the call come in on the radio, paused what she was doing, and listened to the distress call.

“Carter is that Shaws?” she asked, pushing herself out from under the Humvee and standing up, addressing one of the other officers.

“Yeah, IED attack,” he said. “They’re heading back this way, they’re calling for a Med copter,” he said, and she nodded but her heartbeat was pounding. The call had been for Shaws, that he had been injured in the attack and there was no way she was going back to her job at this point. She looked over as the door to Syverson’s makeshift office opened and he marched across the base, his eyes on the gate. He was filled with anger and frustration, the usual look when they took a hit. The gates opened and the Humvees drove in quickly, one less than what went out. The helicopter could be heard overhead and she looked up, stepping out of the way as it landed. She rushed to the Humvee and saw Shaws’ body laid out on the backseat, blood gushing.

“Shaws! Shaws! Stay with me, man!” O’Brien yelled and his body was pulled out, laid on the ground. She stepped back as he was put on a stretcher and moved to the helicopter, quickly taken up into the sky. O’Brien had hopped on the flight with him, suffering his own injuries and she looked desperately for anyone to give her answers but there was no one. She caught Syverson’s gaze but quickly looked away, she didn’t need him.

She entered the porta-potty, normally not a place you’d choose to go into, but she needed somewhere his eyes didn’t follow her. She cried, biting her hand, she sobbed for Shaws and prayed silently that he would be okay though she knew the chances were highly unlikely.

“Brodie?” a knock came on the door and Carter’s voice followed.

“Yep, almost done!” she called out, wiping her tears and taking a breath, she opened the door.

“You good, Brodie?” he asked putting a hand on her shoulder and she nodded.

“Fine,” she said with a nod and he studied her for a moment but nodded, letting her go. She went back to the vehicle and tried to focus on her work.

She quickly left the base that night, heading back to her apartment, and got in the shower, turning on the hot water. She let it run over her body, let her emotions get the best of her, and cried, gripping the wall for support. She heard footsteps outside the bathroom and the door opened, she froze. The shower curtain opened and Syverson stood there, gazing at her. He sighed and took his t-shirt off, his pants as well as boots. He kicked his socks and underwear off, getting into the shower with her. He shut the curtain and wrapped his large arms around her, pulling her close to him. She cried, she let it all go and he stood there under the water holding her tightly.

“Did you hear anything?” she asked, pulling back and he gazed down at her, his look gave it away. “Fuck,” she muttered, shaking her head and the tears came again with the realization she wouldn’t see Shaws ever again.

Syverson let her rage that night, from the tears in the shower, the drinking in the kitchen, and the screaming in the bedroom where the glass was smashed. He sat through it all, dealt with her empty threats, and swept up the mess when she fell asleep finally. He threw the glass out in the trash and then went back to her bedroom, gazing down at her. She clutched her pillow tightly and he sighed, putting the sheet over her body. He leaned down and kissed her hair.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and then left, he couldn’t stay. He was expected back at base and he left unwillingly, he knew the anger she felt. He had felt it before and knew it inside out.

He had gone out that night, cleared buildings, taking down the local militia responsible for the attack, and was pulling into the gate when she was just arriving. He got out of the Humvee as she walked towards the trucks with her kit and he stared at her as he took off his gloves, she was miserable. He sighed and went into his office, getting started on the waiting paperwork.

At lunch, she wasn’t in the canteen and he grabbed himself an MRE, going on the search for her.

He looked around but still couldn’t find her.

“Carter, you seen Brodie?” he asked, and he pointed to the sea of trucks. Syverson weaved his way through and found Brodie seated on the furthermost truck, on the hood of it eating. “Hey,” he said, and she looked over at him.

“Hi,” she replied.

“How you feeling?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“Like fucking shit,” she muttered, and he nodded.

“I can give you some time off,” he offered, and she shook her head.

“Won’t change shit,” she said, and he nodded, he got that.

“Do you want me to come over tonight?” he asked, and she looked at him. He had never asked nor spoke of their hook up on the base.

“Do what you want,” she replied, and he nodded, struggling with words.

“Okay,” he said at last and walked away, at a loss for words. He sat down in his office and ate his lunch alone, her on his mind.

It was 9 p.m. when he finally headed over to her apartment, he knocked on the door, but she didn’t answer. He had a key, she had given it to him, and he slid it into the lock, opening the door. He looked through the small apartment for her but didn’t find any sign of her. He sighed and left the apartment, climbing the steps to the roof. She sat on the edge of the roof, staring up at the sky and he gazed at her for a moment. He walked over and sat beside her, she looked at him.

“What’s the point of this shit?” she asked, and he sighed, looking at the city.

“Been asking myself that question for years,” he said, and she shook her head.

“Nothing, man, that’s what the point is, there is none,” she said. “We all die here for no one but the elite,” she growled. “So, they can sit in their goddamn ivory towers and tell the world we’re fighting to protect freedom,” she said, and he noticed the bottle beside her, the glass in her hand.

He pulled his cigarettes out and lit one, tucking it back in his pocket.

“So, what are you saying?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“Maybe I’ll get out,” she said, and he looked at her.

“We all get out at some point,” he said, and she laughed, shaking her head.

“No man, we don’t get out by discharge,” she said, and he studied her. “The only way we get out is by the end of a pistol,” she muttered.

“Don’t,” he said, and she looked at him.

“Why the fuck not?” she asked, and he sighed.

“It’s not worth it,” he said, and she smiled.

“None of this is fucking worth it,” she replied and looked down. “Do you think this is high enough? Do you think I’d make it?” she asked, and he looked at her horrified.

“Brodie, you’re worrying me,” he said, and she smiled.

“Cause I’m finally realizing there is no end to this torture? The only way to end this is to get out forever,” she said and stood up.

“Brodie,” he said trying to even his tone.

“Shaws didn’t deserve this,” she said. “He was a good guy; he was only doing what those bastards back in Washington told him to do but what does he get? Blown the fuck up,” she said and shook her head. “I’ve lost three friends to this shit and I can’t deal with any more of it,” she said, and he stared up at her.

“Brodie, please,” he pleaded, and she stared at him.

“Give me one reason why not,” she said, and he sighed.

“I…” he started, and she gazed at him hopefully. “Your family,” he offered.

“I have none,” she replied. “My dad’s dead and the rest of my family hates me,” she said. “You’re going to have to do better than that,” she said.

“You haven’t done it yet though,” he said.

“What?” she asked.

“If you really wanted to do it, you would’ve done it by now,” he stated, and she laughed.

“Are you seriously fucking with someone that is standing on the ledge?” she asked, and he sighed. “One fucking reason, Syverson,” she said, and he saw her leaning slightly forward. She might not want to, but she might kill herself just with nerves.

“I need you, all right?” he stated. “I fucking need you!” he shouted, angry at her for making him say it.

“You?” she asked, and he growled, she lowered herself to a crouch. “I thought you didn’t need anyone,” she murmured, and he shook his head.

“So, did I,” he replied, and she sat down.

“Syverson,” she breathed.

“Don’t,” he demanded.

“This was only a hookup,” she said, and he nodded, refusing to look at her.

“It was,” he said. “I did my fucking best to not feel anything towards you but some fucking how you made me,” he said and shook his head. She fell quiet and then he felt her rest her head on his shoulder, he kissed the top of it. “You’re an annoying fucker,” he said.

“And you’re an asshole,” she said, and he smiled to himself, that was obvious. “Thank you,” she said quietly, and he nodded to himself. They sat on the ledge sharing in the lonely company.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So tell me to leave  
> I'll pack my bags, get on the road  
> Find someone that loves you  
> Better than I do, darling I know  
> 'Cause you remind me every day  
> I'm not enough but I still stay.  
> -Noah Cyrus-

He laid propped up on his elbow and gazed down at her, stroking her tan cheek. She had delicate features with freckles scattered over her cheeks and nose. She smiled at him and he shook his head.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," he murmured and she sighed.

"I know, you were the asshole I got warned about," she said and reached up, running her fingers over his shaved head. He smiled again, something he found only she could make him do nowadays and she pulled his lips down to hers. "Just don't go MIA or die on me now, Syverson," she warned and he kissed her again.

"Never," he promised and his head disappeared beneath the white linen sheet, she closed her eyes as his tongue began its work.

\----‐----

Syverson looked at Carter than to Brodie.

"Why can't we bring the vehicle back to base?" He asked and Carter gazed at him, Syverson knew it was a stupid question. But he had to ask it, he didn't want her to go out there.

"The vehicle is too badly damaged, sir," he replied and Syverson sighed nodding. He looked to Brodie and tapped her shoulder with his knuckles.

"Don't do anything stupid out there, Brodie," he warned.

"I won't do anything you wouldn't, Syverson," she vowed and walked to the waiting truck with his gaze following her. He would have smiled if other people weren't around but instead, he crossed his arms, looking grumpy as usual. The truck left base to retrieve the damaged humvee and the gates closed again, he shook his head going back to his office.

Two hours later the convoy returned with the damaged vehicle now in use and Syverson turned to the approaching convoy, Carter stepped out.

"Everything go to plan, Carter?" He asked.

"Yes sir!" He called out and he looked to Brodie as she walked across the base to the mechanic's area. Her back was covered in sweat stains but other than that she looked fine, he retreated to his office.

"Hey Brodie," Madison, another mechanic, said as he approached her.

"Yeah Madison," she replied without looking up.

"What's going on between Syverson and you?" He asked and she looked up.

"What do you mean?" She asked and he shrugged, leaning back against the table.

"Dude watches you like a hawk, you giving him some?" He asked and she laughed.

"Fuck you, man!" She said punching him in the shoulder and Madison laughed.

"We have a bet going on it," he said.

"Oh really? And which side did you take?" She asked and he shrugged, peering out on the base for Syverson.

"I personally think you'd have better taste," he said.

"Thank you, Madison!" She said and he smiled.

"I'm gonna lose money, aren't I?" He asked rubbing his chin and she only smiled, looking back at the table. "Fuck, Brodie!" He exclaimed as he walked out and she couldn't help but laugh to herself.

\---------

She finished her work and was packing things up when she felt a presence behind her, she glanced over her shoulder.

"There's a bet about us," Syverson said and she smiled.

"I heard," she replied.

"Fucking military bases, can't keep a goddamn secret to save our lives," he muttered and she turned to face him.

"They'll stop caring eventually, we're a novelty," she assured walking past him.

"You wanna come by my barracks?" He asked and she stopped, looking at him.

"Scuse me, Syverson? Did I just hear you invite me to your barracks?" She asked walking closer to him and he stared down at her through his shaded lenses.

"If I did?" He asked and she smiled.

"I'd say you're getting soft," she said and he stood there silently for a minute. "Nine o'clock?" She asked and he nodded, she walked off.

"You are fucked, man," Crowley, a fellow SF officer, said from behind him and Syverson growled.

"Fuck you, man," he said and marched off to their barracks with Crowley calling out that he won the bet to some of the other SF.

\-------

His large hands were wrapped around her slim hips as she sat naked on top of him, both sweating as they fucked but he wouldn't trade the view for all the air conditioning in the world. She placed her hands on his hairy chest and gazed into his eyes as she rode him.

"You know this is going to be a pain in the ass right?" She asked and he stared at her tits as they bounced.

"What is?' He asked, tweaking a nipple.

"Us, now that everyone knows," she replied and closed her eyes as his hips jutted up, his full length burying inside her.

"I thought you said we were just a novelty," he reminded and she shrugged her shoulders, looking at a poster map on the wall.

"Yeah but it's you, you're an asshole and now they finally have seen a crack in your asshole facade," she said and he smiled, she leaned down. He put his face between her breasts and pushed them together. She smiled and sat back up.

"Fuck em," he replied and she smiled. "I don't give a shit what they say," he replied and slapped her ass, she moaned. She liked pain with her pleasure and it drove him wild.

"I like that mentality," she murmured and suddenly he grabbed her, rolling her underneath him on the narrow cot.

"You're taking too long," he growled and started pounding into her, watching as pleasure filled her face. He worked hard to get her to come and grunted as she came, his own release following shortly after. He stood up, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. She watched as he tossed the condom in the trash and shook her head.

"Your room is too fucking hot," she mumbled and he shrugged.

"It's not that bad," he said and looked up as she stood. "Where are you going?" He asked and she looked at him.

"Home," she said and he grabbed her arm, she looked at him.

"Fuck you," he said and she smiled, standing on her toes to give him a kiss

"Fuck you too asshole," she replied and left him standing naked in his room, wishing he had told her to stay.


	4. Chapter 4

She gazed at him across the table, his long legs were stretched out and he stared at her, she stared right back.

"When?" she asked.

"Tomorrow," he said and she nodded, taking their empty plates. "You mad?" he asked without looking at her and she rinsed the dishes off.

"No," she replied and he smiled to himself, she was pissed.

"I'll be back," he assured and she scoffed, washing them.

"When? A month? Three? Six?" she asked and he sighed.

"Couldn't tell you," he replied and she nodded to herself, drying the dishes before putting them away.

"Right," she said and sat back down across from him, he gazed at her.

"I've done this before," he reminded.

"Yeah but you were just a fuck then," she said and he smiled at her. "Don't do that," she dismissed.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Smile at me like that, like you have some part of me figured out," she warned and he laughed.

"I do," he said and leaned into the table, holding her gaze. "You're pissed that I'm leaving you," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm more pissed that I got in a relationship with you, now I can't fuck who I want," she said getting up from the table and he stared at her as she went into her bedroom. She smiled as she heard the chair scrape back when he got up and his boots angrily marched across the floor, he grabbed her arm. She spun around and stared at him with a grin on her face.

"You're damn right you can't fuck who you want," He said and wrapped a hand around her throat. "You're mine," he said and she smiled at him.

"Am I?' she asked. "Have I really managed to tame Captain Syverson?" she asked, cupping his cock through his pants and he jumped slightly. He pressed his lips on hers and pulled away, staring into her eyes.

"Fuck you," he growled and she squeezed his cock.

"Fuck me," she replied and he grabbed her by the arms, slamming her back against the door as it shut. He kissed her hungrily, she felt his hard-on pressing against her and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him close. "Make me yours, Syverson," she whispered in his ear. He kissed down her jaw, down to her neck and she hissed in pain as he bit it, leaving a mark.

She had fallen asleep after he had fucked her, he stared as she slept and brushed her hair back from her face. This was the first mission he didn't want to go on, the first time he didn't get that excitement built in his stomach and it was her fault. He ran a finger over the bite mark on her neck and smiled, she'd be in trouble for that tomorrow. He leaned over, kissing her lips softly, she murmured in her sleep and he got up, already dressed. He looked at her one more time before leaving the room and heading back to base. He'd be gone before she reported for work and he knew she would look for him but he wouldn't be there.

He sat in the humvee, waiting on the rest, and stared out the gates of the base. He felt his nerves build as he drove out with the convoy, the first time in a long time he was ever nervous for a mission and the possibility that he might not return. Imagining any pain it would bring her caused him to hate himself for both bringing that pain and allowing himself to become soft.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't easy, it's the whole reason she didn't get involved in a relationship with a military guy but somehow he had swindled her into it. She ate lunch alone, ate dinner alone, and went to bed alone, restless sleep haunting her. He was on the front lines and she had no guarantee he would return to her safely, in one piece. She worried daily but did her best to hide it, to keep her head down.

It was an early morning, the sun was sprinkling across the base and she was beneath a vehicle, working on it. She had been there since early morning hours, having nothing else to do and she'd probably be there late that night, having nowhere else to go. She heard radios and shouts, activity in the yard. She looked over and saw a few of the soldiers walking towards the gate, she waited hopefully. The trucks Syverson had taken out were returning and she watched carefully from her spot beneath, keeping out of sight. They pulled into the base and the men began to disembark, she searched for him. He came around the other side of the vehicle, dirty and bloodied but upright, seemingly unharmed. She looked back to the underbelly of the truck but with a small smile on her face, he was safe.

"Brodie!" a recognizable voice came and she pulled herself out from under the truck, peering up at the shadowed figure. Syverson stood over her with his arms crossed and his blue eyes boring into hers. "My office," he said and walked off, not waiting for a response. She sighed and pulled herself out completely, standing up. She wiped her hands on the rag as she walked and entered the office. He shut the door behind her and pressed his lips against hers, pushing her against the door. "Did you miss me?" he asked gruffly and she gripped the fabric of his tattered shirt.

"You know I did, why ask?" she murmured and he kissed down her jaw, to her neck. "I didn't want you to go in the first place," she reminded and he grunted. He picked up her leg and wrapped it around his waist, pushing his crotch into her.

"I need you so fucking bad," he growled and rested his forehead against hers, she inhaled his familiar scent.

"Then take me," she offered and he growled again, pulling her away from the door. He grabbed his chair, leaning it under the door handle to prevent anyone from entering, and grabbed her, shoving her over the desk. He reached around with expert fingers, undoing her belt and her pants, pulling them roughly to her ankles.

"Were you a good girl?" he asked, trailing his fingers over her naked ass and she moaned at the feeling.

"What?" she asked and he smacked her ass lightly.

"I said, were you a good girl for your captain?" he demanded, wrapping her hair around his hand and tugging it backward, she groaned.

"Yes, sir," she breathed, assuming that's what he wanted and he made a satisfactory noise. He stood behind her, letting go of her hair for a minute and lined himself up, then shoved his entire length into her, she groaned. "Oh fuck me," she moaned, he grabbed her hair again and pulled her head back enough so he could kiss her.

"Marry me, Brodie," he whispered against her lips and her eyes flew open as he continued to fuck her.

"What?" she asked and he looked into her eyes.

"I said, marry me," he commanded and she struggled against him.

"Wait, wait, stop," she demanded and he did, pulling back. "You realize what you just said to me, right?" she asked and he nodded, panting slightly.

"Yeah, I asked you to marry me," He said, looking at her like she was an idiot.

"Marry you?" she asked incredulously. "We went from not wanting a relationship to being in a relationship to you asking me to marry you! How does that work?" she questioned and he stepped closer to her.

"How does that work? You get sent out to a FOB and almost lose your life in a firefight, you realize the important things in life and you, little girl, are one of them," he said, tipping her chin upwards.

"But we still have to work together," she reminded and he shrugged, grabbing a kiss before stepping back.

"So? You're almost done and you already said you weren't reenlisting," he argued.

"But you're okay with that?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? You already live off base, it's not like much would change," he replied and she stared at him, trying to ignore his throbbing cock.

"But why not wait until we're both out?" she asked and he smiled.

"I face death every single day, I don't know if I'm ever getting out," he said. "I'd like to die knowing I protected you," he said with a shrug.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked, shaking her head and he sighed, rolling his eyes in aggravation.

"Look, can we just table the talk of marriage until we're done here?" he asked, motioning to the desk and she studied him but nodded. "Thank you," He said, she turned back around with her stomach on the desk and he grabbed hold of her hips, slipping back inside her. He moaned at the feeling and gripped her hips as he continued to fuck her.

"Syverson!" she exclaimed, scrambling to pull away from him but he held on to her, she finally managed to wrangle her way out of his grip. "What the fuck was that?" she demanded and he looked at her.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"What do I mean! You just came in me! Are you trying to be stupid?" she demanded.

"Relax, you're out in three months," he dismissed, grabbing a rag and wiping his cock off.

"I really think you're not appreciating my position," she said and he glanced over his shoulder at her.

"I definitely appreciated your position, Brodie," he said and she narrowed her eyes at him, he sighed. "If you marry me, we'll both make more money, if we have a kid, that's even more money," he pointed out.

"I don't fucking care about money!" she exclaimed and he put a finger to his lips.

"Will you shut up?" he hissed and she sighed, pulling her underwear as well as her pants back up.

"You're a real prick, you know that?" she growled, redoing her belt. "Only you could ask a girl to marry you and be an absolute prick about it, Syverson!" she shouted and threw the chair out of the way, stomping out of the office. She made her way to the bathroom and did her best at cleaning herself but it was too late. She avoided him like the plague the rest of the day and left earlier than usual, hoping to skirt him.


	6. Chapter 6

She was seated on the roof that night, enjoying the cool air and a nice beer, staring at the stars overhead. She saw him arrive, watched as he stood below and looked up at her, she made no motion to greet him. He headed into the building and she heard the door open, his footsteps on the surface.

"Brodie," he said, and she shook her head.

"Didn't take the hint?" she asked and heard him sigh heavily. He walked beside her and crouched down, looking at her profile.

"Brodie, I love you," he said, and she looked at him, studying him for a minute.

"Tell me that then, Syverson," she said. "Don't ask me to marry you and then force yourself on me," she muttered, taking a drink from her beer.

"Force myself on you?" he asked, incredulously and she rolled her eyes.

"You know exactly what I mean," she growled, and he sighed, looking down into the city.

“I just,” he began and shrugged. “I thought you wanted me the same way,” he said and sat down, swinging his long legs over the edge.

“I did,” she said and looked at him again. “I do,” she corrected. “But having a kid is a big deal and I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” she said, and he nodded, clasping his hands between his legs as he stared at the night sky.

“I’m sorry, all right?” he asked.

“Sure,” she replied, and he gazed at her.

“What else can I do?” he asked, and she shrugged, finishing her beer.

“Stop acting like you’re the boss of me on and off the god damn base,” she said and pulled herself up, walking back into the house. He sighed and stayed where he sat for a few more minutes before following her in. She was at the kitchen sink doing dishes and he leaned against the wall, staring at her.

“I don’t know how to act,” he said, and she glanced over her shoulder.

“What?” she asked and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he moved to the counter. He leaned against it and crossed his arms, looking at her.

“I don’t know how to act, all right?” he said. “You’re the first woman in a long time I’ve wanted around longer than one night and that scares the ever-living shit out of me,” he said, and she stopped washing, lowering her hands into the water.

“Syverson,” she said quietly, and he shook his head, looking away.

“I love you, Brodie, and I don’t know how to act,” he said, and she sighed, drying her hands off before placing them on his arms. He stared down at her and she held his gaze.

“Say that, you idiot,” she said and reached up, holding his face in her hands. “Fucking say that,” she whispered and pull his lips to hers, he kissed her tenderly. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him and they made their way into her bedroom, he laid her down on the old mattress. He defined his love for her that night with passion and tenderness, something she wasn’t afforded by him very often.


	7. Chapter 7

"You sure you wanna do this?" She asked and he looked to the pile of paper "We could just wait until I'm out and then do it in the States," she offered.

"That could be forever depending when I'm given leave," he said. "No, I want to do this here," he confirmed, and she sighed, nodding.

"Well, let's get started then," she mumbled picking up her pen and began filling out the paperwork.

Counseling was what he hadn't counted on and it amused her thinking of what ran through his mind as they sat before the Chaplin. He was surprisingly patient with the whole thing, respectful, and involved.

"I may start to think you really want this if you keep up, Syverson," she stated as they left one day, and he glanced down at her.

"I thought that was obvious," he replied before walking off towards his office. She turned to go back to work but nearly smacked into Carter.

"Jesus," she muttered, and he smiled at her.

"Shaws would be happy for you," he said, and she felt her breath hitch, his name hadn't been mentioned recently. "Teased the fuck out of you but would've been happy," he said, and she smiled.

"Thanks, Carter," she said, and he nodded.

"Still can't believe you're going to marry the old bastard," he said, his eyes darting to the office and she laughed.

"He's really not that bad off duty," she promised, and Carter looked at her.

"There's an off duty for him?" he asked, and she smiled. "Seriously though, Brodie, congratulations," he said and put his hand out, she shook it with a smile on her face.

"Don't congratulate me yet, haven't got him down the aisle," she warned, and he laughed.

"Nah, I think you've got him wrapped around your finger," he assured and patted her on the shoulder before walking off, she smiled to herself. She really hoped she did, he was a hard nut to crack but she thought she was making progress.

\--------

It was a couple of weeks of counseling, she was impressed every time with the way Syverson threw himself into it and felt surer he really wanted this. She had thought once it got more difficult, once the work began, he would change his mind and just want it to go back to how it used to be. The wedding date was coming up, it wasn't fancy, and it wasn't typical, but it was going to be theirs. Syverson's SF buddies threw him a small party, sex dolls and beer abound.

She felt the mattress depress underweight and opened her eyes, looking over. His broad back was to her, he was unlacing his boots and having a struggle with them, she smiled to herself. He was humming a tune, she couldn't place it and she laid still for a moment, enjoying this version. He cursed under his breath as he fell sideways and she sighed, getting out of bed.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, glancing over at her and she rolled her eyes, crouching before him.

"Did you wake me? I don't know how you thought you were being stealthy," she said as she unlaced his boots and he sat back up. "For a special forces guy, you're pretty loud," she said.

"Hey, hey, hey," he mumbled, and she looked up at him, he shrugged. "I know, it's true," he said, and she smiled, shaking her head.

"How drunk did they get you?" she asked, pulling the boot off and tossing it to the side, going to the next one.

"Enough," he said with another shrug and she pulled the boot off. "C'mere," he grunted, holding her by the elbows and pulling her on top of him as he laid back in bed, sitting her down on him. "You're so fucking beautiful," he said, running his fingers through her hair and she smiled at him, leaning down on his chest.

"You're such a teddy bear," she whispered, and he kissed her.

"Don't be telling anyone that," he warned, and she laughed, shaking her head.

"I would never dare," she promised and shivered as he ran his fingertips down her back.

"Thank you, for marrying me," he said.

"You _should_ be thanking me, with manners like yours," she said and kissed him again. His hands clutched her ass, she felt herself grow wet as his fingers spread her ass and she rubbed on his crotch, he smiled.

"You want me?" he asked.

"I always want you, Syverson," she dismissed, and he grinned, kissing her. He grunted in protest as she took her lips from his but looked on as she slid down his body, beginning to unbuckle his pants. He watched as she unzipped them as well and lifted his hips so she could remove them along with his underwear.

"Did you have fun tonight?" she asked, stroking his cock and he hummed in agreement. "Well the night's not over," she reminded and took his entire length with one fell swoop, he moaned loudly as he clutched her hair in desperate pleasure.

"Fuck!" he shouted, and she smiled up at him, with his cock fully enveloped in her mouth. She pulled back up only to go back down, and he groaned, her fingers began to tease his balls at the same time. "Oh, fucking shit," he growled, clinging to her hair and she winced at the pain but did her best to ignore it, the way he wriggled beneath her was enough to make her even wetter. She moved up and down his cock, letting his length slid down her throat. She pulled back up, choking slightly and he groaned at the sound.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he yelled, and she did it again while massaging his balls, his hips thrust up into her mouth. She felt him release down her throat and she pulled off with a quick lick to the head of his cock, smiling at him. "Look at you with that fucking smile on your face," he mumbled, draping his arm over his eyes. "Act like you got me wrapped around your damn finger," he huffed, and she grinned, leaning down to his lips.

“Because you know I do," she whispered, pecking his lips and falling back into bed, pulling the sheet over her.

"Fucker," he murmured and soon she heard snores beside her, she pulled the sheet over him before she rolled on her side to go back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

He stood across from her, her hands in his and his eyes gazing into hers. The Chaplin spoke in front of them and his buddy Scott stood to his side. The vows were spoken, rings were put on fingers and he kissed her tenderly to the applause of Scott. Parting, she smiled at him and he couldn't help but share the smile.

"You happy now?" she asked, and he nodded, kissing her again.

"Yes," he replied, and she grinned.

They went back to work shortly after the ceremony, keeping the ceremony quiet and enjoying the privacy of their marriage with only two other people being aware. One sworn by the word of God to keep it quiet and the other too loyal to ever spill the beans.

He went to her apartment later that night, he was welcomed by a home-cooked meal and a smiling wife who embraced him lovingly. As he sat across from her, he didn’t think life could get much better.

=====

“I’m sorry but I don’t really have control over this!” he shouted as his hand held the door from slamming and her angry glare stared out at him.

“Fuck you!” she shouted, trying to slam it shut and he was surprised at what a struggle it was, she was stronger than she looked.

“Brodie! You know this! You’ve had this happen! You go where they send you!” he exclaimed but she won the battle, slamming the door quickly. He growled, stepping backward, and eyed the door, debating kicking it down. But it wasn’t worth it, she still would be mad at him and madder at that point. “Brodie! Let me in!” he shouted, banging on the door.

“Go away!” she screamed, and he sighed. Every muscle in his body was tense, every inch of him encouraged him to kick the door in and demand she understand it, but he knew he couldn’t. She wasn’t just another soldier now; she was his goddamn wife and he had to treat the relationship with respect.

“I’ll sleep out here,” he warned, and she laughed.

“Enjoy!” she called out and he growled, sliding down the wall to the floor. He had told her he was being transferred to another base, not just a FOB but an entirely different base altogether. It would separate them mere hours after their wedding and he knew she wouldn’t be happy about it, but he thought she’d understand at least. She had kicked him out of the apartment and refused to let him back in. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes, determined to sleep there.

He woke the next morning to the slamming of a door and he grunted, the pain that filled his back was stiffening. He sighed and blinked his eyes, looking around. The door had been further down the hall and he glanced up at her door, still closed. He sighed and pulled himself up, stretching. He headed down to the street, she’d have to come to work and he’d try to talk to her there.

\---

She had checked on him during the night, to see if he had slept there and a little bit of anger ebbed when she saw him asleep, stationed like a guard. It wasn’t his fault that he was transferring, she knew that but the whole situation absolutely sucked. They were just married and already they were going to be separated. She was more frustrated than angry at him, she didn’t want to fall in love with him in the first place and she certainly didn’t want to be his wife now that it was going to get harder. She didn’t even get a chance to enjoy the easy days.

She had slipped out before daylight, gone into work, and had been there for at least three hours before he showed up. She eyed him from her position, watching as he walked across the base looking absolutely exhausted and frustrated, her heart tugged a little, but she was resolute in her anger, or whatever it was.

“Brodie,” his voice came, and she looked up. She had gone into the workshop to figure something out and had thought he was busy, assumed she wouldn’t have to deal with him until later.

“Not now, Syverson,” she warned, and he grabbed her arm, she looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. She saw it in his eyes, knew that he was as frustrated as her that he was leaving and so soon after they got married.

“I just…” she said, she stopped turning the screwdriver and dropped it on the bench. “I just wonder if we should’ve married or waited,” she said and he sighed, his eyes moving away from her as he crossed his large arms.

“Brodie, I told you why I wanted to marry you, this is the exact reason,” he said.

“So, I could get your benefits?” she asked and he looked back at her.

“Look, I married you mainly because I love you, Brodie, that was the biggest reason and I didn’t want anyone else loving you,” he said. “But the added benefits were great too,”

“I don’t want you to go, I don’t know when I’ll see you again,” she said and his gaze softened, he reached out to stroke her cheek.

“I know,” he said softly and then drew his arm back as someone entered. “We’ll have a beer later?” he asked, and she nodded, he left the workshop.

She sat on the rooftop with an opened beer in hand and another beside her, waiting for him. She looked down as she saw a truck pull up and Scott got out, he looked up to the rooftop. She stared at him and he stared at her.

“Brodie!” he shouted up and she shook her head, she knew what happened. Scott entered the apartment building and soon appeared on the rooftop with her. “Brodie,” he repeated.

“Have a beer,” she offered, holding it up and he took it after a minute, he sat beside her. “When?” she asked.

“About an hour ago,” he replied, and she nodded, gazing out at the city. “He said he’s sorry,” he offered.

“Yeah, I know he is,” she muttered and drank from her beer. “Doesn’t make it easier,” she said, and Scott fell quiet. Syverson had been transferred before he could return to her, he was now traveling across the country to another base and she had no idea when she would see him or hear from him again.

“I’m sorry,” Scott said, and she looked at him.

“Why didn’t you get sent with him?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“I leave in a day,” he responded, and she laid back on the hard surface, staring up at the sky.

“When you get out, you can go to live near him,” he reminded.

“Yeah I know but that’s like two months away,” she said, and Scott laid beside her. They stayed staring at the sky for a few minutes before she offered him dinner, something she had already started expecting Syverson. He took her up on the offer and they had a quiet dinner, then he returned to the base. She was left with the silence and ghost of Syverson to deal with.


	9. Chapter 9

She stood on the tarmac, gazing back at the disappearing vehicles and beat her fingers on the shoulder strap of her backpack, turning back to the plane. She was in a line of soldiers returning home for leave or for good. She was most likely the only one that didn’t want to board that plane.

“Brodie!” a voice shouted, and she looked over her shoulder, Carter was jogging up from a Humvee. He reached her and handed an envelope to her. “This came in today’s mail, I thought you’d want it now rather than later,” he explained, and she took the envelope. She recognized his handwriting and smiled at Carter.

“Thank you,” she said, and he nodded, standing awkwardly for a moment. He reached out and pulled her into a hug, she returned it gladly.

“Take care of yourself Brodie,” he urged, and she smiled.

“I will, same to you Carter, I expect letters,” she warned as she backed up towards the plane and he laughed.

“Never been much of a writer!” he called to her.

“Learn!” she shouted back, and he smiled, waving as she turned to board the plane. She followed the others on to the plane and settled in for the long ride, she glanced down at her hand. The ring that laid upon her finger was heavy and reminded her what she was leaving behind.

It was early morning; the heat and humidity had already set in as she stepped out on her back deck. She brought the cup of coffee to her lips and surveyed the dusty land with the yellowing grass, her eyes set on a deer at the far back near the brush. She watched silently as the deer grazed and smiled to herself, it had been so long since she had been able to enjoy this peace. She would be getting a job soon enough but right now; she had enough money put away to enjoy the leisure of rest. She watched the deer for a few quiet moments and then returned inside, setting her cup down on the oak dining table. She shuffled through the pile of mail and her fingers brushed against the letter Carter had given her on the tarmac, she had never opened it. She sighed and pulled the heavy chair out, sitting down.

_“Brodie,_

_I’m sorry. I wish I had been given the chance to say goodbye but we both know that was never in the cards. By the time you read this, you’ll probably be back home, and it will be a couple of days in, I know you procrastinate. I want you to know that I love you and think of you every single damn day. You’re my destination and my reason for surviving this war, I’ll return to you. We can sit on your back deck and share that beer I never got. I love you, darling and I hope you always remember that._

_Love,_

_Syverson”_

She smiled, feeling tears in the corner of her eyes, she wanted him now and here with her. Knowing how far apart they were and what kept them apart, that every day was a possibility he wouldn’t return to her, it did too much. All she wanted was for him to come to her and be with her, for them to live their life together. Grow old and grey and wrinkly.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been three months since she had got out, she had reestablished herself in her hometown, reconnecting with a few people who had stuck by her and getting a job at a garage, working on cars. She spent a good portion of her day there, enjoying the work and enjoying the distraction from his absence. They kept in contact via letters and a few scattered phone calls but other than that she was alone. She had adopted a dog, a great big golden retriever who was the friendliest of friendly, and named him Captain, a sweet reminder of her husband.

It had been a particularly brutal Texas summer day, she had sweated through a t-shirt and changed mid-day during lunch. Captain was eager to return home, he wanted to go in the kiddie pool she had bought him, and she loaded him into her bronco, a car she had been working on since she got back. She stopped at the grocery store to pick up a pack of beers and some food before returning home. She pulled down the long dirt driveway, the house had been the one thing her father had left her, and slowed when she saw a truck in front of her house, a black F-150. She parked the car and got out, stepping back to let Captain out. She grabbed the bag and came around the truck, looking to her front porch. She stopped short and froze.

“Well you coming up?” he asked, and she continued to stare at him, Captain barked. “You’ve got a dog?” he asked, and she heard the familiar twang in his voice.

“What are you…what are you doing here?” she asked stepping up the rotting wooden steps and stopping on the porch, staring at him.

“I’m out,” he said and stood.

“Out out?” she asked, and he nodded.

“Yup,” he said, and Captain sniffed at his boots, he reached down to pet him. “You gonna give me a kiss or what?” he asked, and she swiftly closed the distance between them, dropping the bag of groceries on the swing before she wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her tenderly at first, but the kiss soon turned passionate and filled with need. “I missed you, darling,” he whispered, kissing her neck and she clung to him.

“Tell me this isn’t a dream,” she whispered, and he chuckled as he held her close.

“It isn’t, I promise,” he agreed, and she smiled, closing her eyes. Everything about this moment was heaven, his touch, his voice, his scent, and his words.

“I thought you weren’t out for another year?” she asked and let him go finally, he shrugged.

“I was wrong,” he replied. “They asked if I wanted to re-up or get out, I chose coming home to you,” he said and she smiled, pulling him tightly against her again.

“I’m so glad you did,” she murmured, and he kissed her again. “Come in, come into your home,” she urged, pulling at his hand and he grabbed the groceries for her, Captain followed them with a wagging tail.

“It’s a nice place,” he commented as she walked him around and she nodded.

“I know, my dad was a handyman as well as working on cars, he kept the house up thankfully,” she commented and set the groceries down on the counter. “You hungry?” she asked and pulled out the food than the beer.

“No, I want to have that beer with you though,” he said, and she smiled, taking two beers from the pack. She opened each and handed him one, they walked on the back porch. Twilight was descending, the sound of the heat bugs buzzed through the canopy of trees, and the moon was in the sky. “This is what I dreamed of every night,” he said, and she looked at him, his blue eyes were on her.

“Yeah?” she asked, and he nodded, drinking his beer.

“Yeah, this right here,” he said and pat the arm of his chair with his palm, staring out at the back yard. “Thank you,” he said.

“For what?” she asked.

“For giving me this,” he said, and she laughed quietly.

“You gave me just as much,” she promised, and he smiled.

“Right here, right now, this is as perfect as it’s gonna get, darling,” he vowed, and she looked at him. “We’re gonna struggle, there’s gonna be hard times and we’re gonna fight,” he warned.

“I wouldn’t expect any less,” she said, and he laughed, shaking his head.

“I mean it though, I’ve got demons that I haven’t dealt with and I don’t want you to come into this relationship thinking it’s gonna be all happiness and beauty,” he said then drank from his beer.

“With you? I never assume that stuff,” she voiced, and he looked at her, studying her for a moment.

“But I’ll give you all the romance you could want,” he said, and she stared at him.

“Syverson knows what romance is?” she asked, and he scoffed with a smile.

“Yeah, the old me does and I’m going to do my best to find him again,” he said. “For you,” he finished, and she smiled.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“Nothing less than you deserve, Brodie,” he observed.

“Katie,’ she said, and he looked at her.

“Katie,” he said quietly and shook his head. “Sounds weird,” he commented, and she laughed.

“Fuck you!” she exclaimed, and he smiled.

“What’s your dog’s name?” he asked, looking at the golden laying on the floor at her feet.

“Captain,” she introduced, and he gazed at him.

“Strange name,” he said.

“It was after you,” she replied, and he smiled.

“Right,” he said with a nod. “What’ve you been up to since I’ve been gone?” he asked.

“Well, I got a job,” she said.

“Where’s that?” he asked.

“A car garage nearby,” she said.

“Course,” he said, and she grinned. “What else?” he asked.

“Missed you,” she said, and he rolled his eyes.

“Obviously,” he replied, and she laughed again. She pulled herself from her chair and he looked up at her as she pulled him to his feet, she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head as they stood on the back deck, enjoying what had been stolen from them so many times before.

He had taken a shower, she knew the amazing feeling of taking a shower when you were back in the states and she had put his duffle bag in the bedroom, unzipping it. She began to unpack it for him, making a pile of laundry that had to be washed and putting the rest of it away. She looked up as he walked in and admired his body, wrapped in a towel.

“Thought I’d unpack it for you,” she said as she stood, and he nodded.

“Thank you,” he replied. “I don’t need that,” he said and grabbed her hand, pulling her up. He kissed her again, guiding her to the bed, and gently laid her back. He kissed her lips, down her neck, and pulled the hem of her t-shirt up, his lips tracing over her stomach. She rested her hands on his shaved head and he brought his lips back to hers, working her belt buckle off. He removed her pants and panties; she undid his towel, so it fell to the floor. “I fucking missed you,” he whispered, and she kissed him.

“I missed you,” she murmured and closed her eyes in pleasure as he entered her, slowly then more aggressively. She dug her fingers into his shoulders as he made love to her and she enjoyed the feeling of his warm body against hers, so long had she gone to bed without him.

“Can we make babies now?” he crooned into her ear and she smiled.

“We can make babies now,” she approved, and he growled, his thrusts becoming harder. She moaned and wrapped her legs around him, pulling him close to her. “We can make tons and tons of babies,” she exhaled, and he easily picked her up, her legs still wrapped around him. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her fervently.

“I love you,” he mumbled into her ear and she smiled.

“I love you,” she responded and buried her face into the crook of his neck so he couldn’t see her tears streaming down her face, to have him so near after so long.


	11. Chapter 11

She woke up to the birds singing, the sun poking through the curtains and she stretched her arms above her head, stretching her legs.

“Go back to sleep,” he grunted, throwing a heavy arm across her waist and she smiled.

“I can’t, I have work,” she murmured, resting her hands on his hairy army and rubbing it gently, he groaned.

“Can’t you take some time off? Tell them your husband’s back from war?” he asked, moving over the bed and nestled his lips into her neck, she tilted her head to give him room.

“Mmm, I wish I could but I need the money,” she whispered and he nipped at her skin, she yelped as she slapped his arm.

“You don’t need the money, you have me,” he reminded and she laughed.

“Syverson, your money will run out,” she warned and he pulled himself over her, his blue eyes blinking the sleep from them as he tried to focus on her.

“Then I’ll get a job and you can stay home,” he pushed, kissing her lips.

“I want to work,” she replied, kissing him again.

“Why are you so stubborn,” he growled, she felt his cock between her thighs and she eagerly parted her legs, he slid inside her.

“Because I’m your wife,” she answered and he smiled against her skin, she moaned as she felt him move inside her.

“You are my wife,” he agreed and grunted with every pace. “And I’m going to put a baby inside you if it’s the last fucking thing I do,” he growled and she smiled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

The house soon began to become a home with Syverson there, they got into a groove together and she found him relatively easy to live with. She would go to work every day, leaving him with Captain, and then return that night, he would make dinner. It was never fancy, often burgers or hot dogs, but it was the effort he put into it that made her smile. He would set the table with a bouquet of flowers by her plate that he had picked from the yard and a warm bath after dinner. They would retire afterward to the deck and enjoy a beer together.

They tried every position possible, christened every room with their fucking but to no avail. Four months later and she still wasn’t pregnant, she saw it wore on him. He wanted to be a dad, he wanted to have his own brood of brats but she so far was unable to provide that.

“Maybe we should go to a doctor,” she said during dinner one night and he looked up from his plate.

“For what?” he asked.

“To have a baby,” she explained and saw immediately his shoulders tense. “Syverson, it may be nothing to do with you,” She assured and he nodded, fiddling with his fork. “If you want a baby, this is the best way to figure things out,” she said, leaning into the table and he looked at her.

“I know, I know,” he said and fell quiet. “Set up the appointment,” he directed and she nodded.

“Thank you,” she said softly and he gave her a tight smile, standing with his plate. He left to the kitchen and she stared at his broad shoulders as they disappeared, she knew he wasn’t happy. It wasn’t what any man desired when he tried to have kids and issues arose.

\----

Struggle. It was an eight-letter word, but it was one of the worst words she had ever heard. Her whole life had been a struggle and she had sincerely hoped that having a baby would not have been the same. Yet it turned out to be exactly that and as she sat in the doctor’s office with Sy, she was nervous. She glanced over at him, his large arms crossed over his chest and studying the medical posters plastered on the wall. His expression would have been almost amusing if it weren’t such a nerve-wracking occasion and she sighed out lout before realizing it.

“You all right?” he asked, his attention broken, and she shrugged.

“I guess, just worried,” she said, and he nodded, stroking his beard. He had done a lot of that since she suggested the doctor’s and by now, she realized it was a nervous tick. There was a knock on the door, it opened, and a smiling woman entered. She was tall, with pale blue eyes and blonde frizzy hair, a laptop clutched in her arm.

“Good morning, I’m Dr. Brigand,” she introduced and put out her hand, shaking Sy’s first. He said a gruff greeting and her eyes then looked to Kate. “How are you today?” she asked, taking a seat on the stool and Kate sighed.

“Nervous,” she said quietly, and the doctor smiled.

“No need to be nervous, we’ll have this all figured out,” she assured and looked at her laptop. Sy stood the entire appointment, slightly driving Kate bonkers but she knew he was too nervous to sit down.

As they walked out to the car, the hot Texas sun making the asphalt nearly unbearable to cross, Kate looked over at him and saw the tension in his face, shaded by the hat on his head.

“You okay?” she asked, and he nodded. “Sy,” she demanded, grabbing his hand and he sighed.

“I just didn’t think it would be this hard having a kid,” he replied, and she smiled sympathetically.

“I know, I know but at least she said it wasn’t our fault, that we just have to keep trying,” she reminded.

“That’s almost worse than saying there is something wrong with one of us,” he countered, and she smiled, it was true. He unlocked his truck, opening the door for her and closing it after she got in. He climbed in and started the engine, opening the windows quickly as the heat inside was unbearable.

“Please, you know you don’t mind trying again and again,” she said, reaching out and trailing her fingertips down his neck, he gave her a tight smile as he backed out of the parking spot.

“No but just worried if it doesn’t happen,” he said and she sighed, lowering her hand to her lap.

“Well let’s just think happy thoughts, huh?” she asked, gazing out the window at the passing scenery and he grunted, in true Syverson style.

The doctor had told them everything looked normal and sometimes it just took longer for some people. Not the answer she wanted but at the same time, it was the answer she was given. Now she just had to jump Syverson’s bones every chance she got, and she wasn’t going to complain about that.


	12. Chapter 12

His long-form laid across the bed, naked to the night, and sweat rolled off his chest, he rested his hand against it as he felt his rapid heartbeat. He looked over and saw her as she left the bathroom, looking every inch the beautiful goddess, she was. She smiled at him and crawled on top; he rested his hands on her hips.

“I love you,” she murmured and kissed him, he smiled as he tangled his hand in her hair.

“And I love you,” he replied, swooping her beneath his body and his hands roamed down her body as she moaned into his kiss.

It was six months of this, making love whenever the opportunity arose and it had turned now from romance to anger, hard fucking. She had tried to keep the romance alive; he had tried but the longer she didn’t become pregnant, the longer he struggled to retain his patience. He knew it wasn’t her fault, but it was difficult to not have what so many others easily obtained.

That was how he found himself in the bar, seated at a table by himself and a quickly warming beer in his hand. He gazed at the television screen, watching the current sports on television, and had ignored everyone else, he just needed to get away from her for a while.

“Hey handsome, haven’t seen you here before,” a voice came and he looked up with disdain, used to the callings of women.

“What can I do for ya,” he replied, looking back to the screen and she pulled the seat out at the table, he looked at her surprised.

“It’s not what you can do for me but what can I do for you,” she said, resting her chin on the palm of her hand and gazing at him.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, darling but I’m married,” he said, holding up his hand with the wedding band and she glanced at it.

“Is that why you’re alone in a bar drinking your sorrows away?” she asked, and he rolled his eyes. “Well she can’t be that good of a wife if you’re here alone drinking,” she commented.

“Look, I’m flattered, really, I am but you’re not my type, so why don’t you move on?” he asked, and she sat back.

“Not your type? What part of me isn’t your type?” she asked, and he looked her over. Honestly, she was exactly his type, but he was struggling to be good.

“You’re here at the table talking to a married man, not my type,” he dismissed, and she narrowed her eyes.

“Well ain’t you just wonderful,” she said and quickly left the table, Syverson shook his head. Brodie had absolutely fucked him up, he wouldn’t have turned her away before but now, his only concern was remaining true to Kate.

He returned home later that night, he stopped seeing the dinner table still set but missing Kate’s plate, he sighed setting the keys down.

“Fuck,” he muttered and checked on the back porch, she wasn’t there but an unopened beer was.

He sighed and took it, putting it back in the fridge. He made his way up the creaky stairs and down the hall to their bedroom, lingering in the doorway. She was underneath the white linen sheet, the fan rotating as it cooled her off and she was fast asleep. He sat on the rocking chair and untied his boots, keeping his eyes on her. She only woke to the clink of his belt and her eyes blinked with sleep.

“Sy?” she murmured.

“Hey,” He replied and tossed the pants over the chair.

“Where’d you go?” she asked. “I made dinner,” she said, rolling on her back.

“I know, I’m sorry, I just needed to clear my head,” he replied and removed his shirt, laying back on the bed. She moved towards him and rested her head on his chest, he kissed the top of her head.

“Well there’s some food in the fridge for you and a beer on the back deck,” she offered, and he stroked her back.

“I’m all right,” he assured, and she sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized.

“For?” he asked.

“Being needy,” she replied, and he sighed as well.

“Honestly, Brodie, I get that you want a baby as much as I do but at the same time, I need space,” he said.

“I get that,” she answered. “I was getting kind of sick of you too,” she said, and he grabbed her side, she laughed. “Oh, come on, you think you’re that great a woman would want to be around you all the time?” she asked, rolling on her back and he smiled.

“Not any woman, you, yes,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.

“Get over yourself, old man,” she grunted, shoving him and he smiled, gazing at her as she rolled on her side so her back was facing him. He reached forward and ran his fingers down it, she shivered as she hummed in pleasure.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“For what?” she asked, half-asleep.

“I don’t know,” he muttered and let his hand drop, staring at the ceiling.

“Then don’t be sorry, fucker,” she muttered, and he smiled to himself. He silently said prayers to a God he had abandoned long ago and silently wished he were back on the battlefield, at least there he knew how to handle shit. This was a whole new fucking war for him, and he was his own worst enemy.


	13. Chapter 13

She had been working longer hours, trying to keep herself away from home and away from him, the remainder of her failure as a wife. She would come home as dusk settled over the house and he’d be on the back porch, having a beer along with a cigarette. He’d look up at her as she came out, a beer in hand, and smile at her but she knew he knew. He knew why she stayed away and why she was trying so hard to avoid the conversations.

It was a day off; the shop was closed on Sundays and she had allowed herself to sleep in. She rolled over in the bed, sunlight streamed in the windows and she glanced at the empty pillow beside her, it was cold. She got up slowly, wrapping herself in a robe, and stepped over to the window, hearing banging. She gazed down at the yard; her eyes scanned for him but there was no sign until she got to the small shed that was on the property. The door was open, but he was tucked away inside, doing something.

After dressing, she slid her sandals on and headed out on the front porch, the screen door slamming behind her. She stopped on the top step and he soon appeared in the doorway of the shed, mopping at his forehead.

“Morning,” he said, and she smiled.

“Morning,” she replied, and he glanced over his shoulder before stepping out, shutting the door.

“What are you doing in there?” she questioned, and he shook his head as walked toward her.

“Nothing,” he replied and before she could speak again, he climbed the porch steps, grabbing her around the waist. He kissed her tenderly and she rested her hands on his shoulders, enjoying the kiss.

“You’re hiding something,” she pushed as he pulled away and he smiled.

“From you? Never,” he promised and headed into the house, she glanced at the shed but followed him in. “You’re off today, right?” he asked, grabbing water and she nodded. “Good, let’s go for a drive,” he said and left the room, she smiled to herself.

“Where?” she called over her shoulder and heard his heavy feet on the stairs.

“Hill Country!” he shouted back, and she followed in his wake, stopping in the bedroom door as he took off his shirt. She admired the muscles, the scars, and the tattoo on the shoulder blade, a reminder of his time in the military.

“What are we going to do there?” she asked, and he looked back at her.

“Nothin’,” he replied and grabbed at another clean shirt, kicking his shoes off. She had bought him sneakers; he would’ve worn the damn combat boots until the soles were worn out. “That’s the beauty of it,” he said and entered the bathroom. She moved to the doorway, lingering in it as she watched him remove his shorts and turn the shower on. “Why are you staring at me like that, Brodie?” he asked, looking back at her and she shrugged.

“You’re handsome,” she said, and he laughed, shaking his head.

“I am anything but handsome, darling,” he said and put his hand in the water. “I’m an asshole yes,” he countered, shutting the shower curtain. “I’m a jackass, yes,” he continued and turned to her, giving her a full view of his naked body. “But handsome, I’m not,” he said.

“Come on, you knew that half the women that came on and off the base were making googly eyes at you,” she reminded, stepping towards him and running a hand down his chest, he grinned at her.

“Were they? Didn’t notice,” he dismissed as he turned to the shower and stepped inside.

“No? How did you earn that nickname then?” she asked.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Brodie!” he shouted, and she pushed back the curtain, he looked at her as he stood under the water.

“Captain Cunnilingus?” she questioned, and he grinned again but this was a shit-eating grin.

“Don’t know, darling,” he replied. “Can’t help the names people call me,” he said with a shrug and she laughed, shutting the shower curtain as she walked back into the bedroom.

The drive into the hills was peaceful, Captain came with them and she enjoyed the changing scenery, the way the hills rolled all around them. They stopped at a food truck tucked into a dusty dirt parking lot and sat down at the picnic table with their BBQ. She tossed Captain a piece of chicken and looked up to Syverson as she felt her eyes on him.

“What?” she asked, and he shook his head, chewing on his food.

“Nothing,” he replied.

“You’ve got a lot of nothing today,” she commented, and he smiled.

“Just thinking about us,” he said, and she studied him closer.

“What about us?” she asked, and he held her gaze.

“That if we never become parents, I’m still the most goddamn lucky man alive,” he said, throwing her off guard and she quickly blushed, her eyes falling to the table as she smiled.

“I already married you, Sy, you don’t need to romance me,” she reminded.

“Not romancing you, darling,” he said, and she looked back at him. “Just telling you the truth,” he said.

“You are an asshole,” she agreed, and he laughed.

“Why does that make me an asshole?” he asked, and she shrugged.

“Making me feel like this,” she said, and he smiled as he stared at her. “I’m just glad that there’s not as much risk of losing you anymore,” she said.

“Me too,” he replied.

“Do you miss it?” she asked, and he heaved a heavy sigh, looking off to the distance.

“Yeah, sometimes,” he said with a nod of his head and looked back at her.

“What about it?” she asked, and he shrugged.

“Probably the adrenaline,” he said, and she nodded. “I miss the hell out of my guys,” he said.

“I know,” she said softly. “Have you been in contact with any of them?” she questioned, and he shook his head.

“They stayed in when I got out,” he said.

“Were they mad at you?” she asked.

“Mad, no, they knew why I was getting out,” he said and looked back at her. “Or who I was getting out for,” he corrected. “But it wasn’t easy,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I’m sorry,” she said, confused about how to respond.

“Don’t be, I made the decision and I’d make it again every time,” he promised, and she smiled at him. “They know where I live, they know how to find me if they ever want to,” he said with a flick of his shoulders and bit into his sandwich. “What about you?” he asked as he chewed.

“Nah, it wasn’t much to miss, I do what I did there now but with more variety,” she said, and he nodded. “And no uniform,” she finished, and he smiled.

“You always hated the uniform,” he grunted.

“Well we weren’t all lucky as you, wearing shorts and t-shirts,” she argued, and he smiled.

“They tried to get me to wear a uniform,” he said.

“Did they?” she asked, and he nodded.

“I wore it when I had to, but I think they weren’t going to push it either,” he said, and she smiled.

“Always a rebel, Syverson,” she muttered, and he smiled at her, tossing Captain a fry. “I’m impressed with your ability to assimilate to civilian life though,” she complimented.

“What’d you mean?” he asked.

“Well I mean, all the shit you’ve seen, I thought I’d be helping you with night terrors and shit like that,” she said, and his expression darkened.

“I don’t wake you up,” He said, and she stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Wait, what?” she asked, and he looked back at her.

“I don’t wake you up,” he said.

“You have them?” she asked, and he nodded. “How often?” she asked, and he shook his head.

“I don’t keep track of ‘em, Brodie,” he dismissed.

“No, Syverson, this is serious,” she argued, and he sighed.

“Brodie, drop it,” he said firmly, and she eyed him. There was a point that you could push with him and she was past that, she recognized that in the way his tone changed.

“Wake me up for them, Syverson, wake me the fuck up for them,” she ordered, and he rolled his eyes, biting into his sandwich. “I love you and you don’t need to go through that shit alone,” she said, and he sighed.

“Forget I said anything,” he argued, and she shook her head.

“No,” she stated. “Wake me the fuck up,” she urged. “That’s all I’m going to say on it,” she promised and continued eating. The rest of the meal was quiet, and they got back in the vehicle after tossing their trash out.

“D’you wanna go home?” he asked, and she looked at him.

“No,” she replied. “It’s still early let’s go to the lake,” she said, and he nodded, taking a left out of the parking lot.


	14. Chapter 14

The storm rumbled overhead as she laid in bed, her hands flat against the mattress and staring at the pebbled ceiling, listening to the rain patter on the metal roof. The birds sang through the storm, as though they too hoped there was beauty at the end of this ugliness. The slamming of the screen door resounded in her memory and she closed her eyes, trying to trap the tears behind her lids. She took a breath and let the tear slip out of the corner of her eye, she couldn’t have stopped it if she tried.

It had been another fight between them, filled with tension, anger, and frustration. She had never seen him rage like that, as though he was losing control of who he was and she didn’t know how to battle with him, she was at a loss. He had interrupted the argument by storming out of the room and the house, leaving her alone. Captain sat at the end of the bed but he was silent, letting her marinate in her feelings. He blamed himself for their inability to have kids, she knew that without him saying it but she couldn’t address it, it was far too sensitive.

She sat on the back deck as the water dripped off the roof, tapping on the wooden railing around the deck and she held a cup of warm coffee in her hands, a blanket around her shoulders. It was getting late and he hadn’t returned yet, hadn’t answered her calls either. She wasn’t sure how much longer they could survive these battles, the love between them was pure but the shit that they both carried was too heavy. She had her problems, he had his problems and neither had a way to rid of it but to yell at one another.

The rumbling of his truck sounded from the front yard and she perked up, waiting patiently. She didn’t want to run out to him and seem like a depressed damsel but she hoped he would come in. She heard the door of his truck shut but her hopes were dashed when the slamming of the shed door echoed, she sighed as her shoulders fell. She got up after a few minutes and walked through the house, looking out the screen door. The shed was closed, she could hear him working on whatever he had been building for days, maybe even weeks if she could keep track of time anymore and she turned away, going into the kitchen.

<<<<>>>>

Syverson stepped out of the shed, the cooler night air wrapped around him and the crickets in the grass were singing, he hadn’t realized how late it was. He locked the shed door and headed up the front steps, opening the screen door. He entered as he shut both doors, locking up, and looked around the house for her, she was nowhere. He sat down on the bench in the hall, removing his shoes, and headed upstairs, finding her asleep in bed. He stared at her silently, leaning against the door frame, and rubbed his eyes.

He didn’t know how to save this marriage, he wasn’t even sure what they were arguing over anymore but he also knew the fact that he couldn’t give her a baby was killing him. He wanted to see her belly grow round with his child but all he was given was negative tests in the trash. He sighed and gently laid down on the bed next to her, reaching out tentatively to tuck back her hair. He stroked her cheek, watching as her expression changed to his touch, and leaned forward, kissing her forehead.

He loved that damn woman for the rest of his life, no matter what happened between them, she was the only one who had seen his monsters face to face and hadn’t backed down but he wasn’t sure how much longer she would put up with him. He got off the bed and went downstairs to the living room, turning the television on after getting a beer. He sat down and sighed, settling into the mind-numbing show that would let him forget his shit for a while.

<<<>>>>

She woke the next morning to an empty bed but the sound of the television downstairs. She got up and quietly made her way down the steps, peering into the living room. Syverson was asleep in the armchair, his long legs stretched out and beer fell on the floor beside him. She sighed, scooping the bottle up and shutting the television off, he stirred.

“Brodie?” he asked, blinking in the sunlight that filtered into the room.

“Why’d you sleep down here?” she asked, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Fell asleep watching tv,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes and she nodded, eyeing him quietly for a minute before leaving the room. She could stand there for a hundred years and he’d never give her the answers she wanted, it wasn’t his way. She took the eggs and bacon out, starting a fry up. “I’m sorry,” he said and she didn’t bother looking at him, just nodded.

“I know,” she replied and cracked the egg into the pan, tossing the shells. “We’re always sorry until the next time,” she murmured and heard him sigh again. “You hungry?” she asked.

“No, I’m going to go out to the shed,” he said and she heard him stop to put his shoes on before heading outside, the slamming of the screen door causing the same pain in her heart as it did the last forty times. For so long he had been her center, her everything and her home in a world of war, now she was losing it all. She didn’t know what she was fighting for anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

It was her birthday, it had crept up on her without her even noticing and she woke up in the morning to an empty bed, which wasn’t unusual but there was a single lily on the pillow. She smiled, reaching out for it, and held it against her nose, smelling.

“Morning,” he said and she looked to the doorway, he stood there with his arms crossed. “Happy birthday,” he said and she smiled, getting out of bed.

“Thank you,” she murmured, kissing him and he held her there a moment longer before letting her go. He took her hand and nodded towards the stairs.

“C’mon, I’ve got something for you,” he said and she smiled as she followed him down the stairs. He was romantic when he wanted to be and when he dusted off the old Syverson. He led her into the dining room and she stared at the beautiful object on the floor. “Thought I’d be giving this to you sooner but,” he said and shrugged his shoulders as he crossed his arms, she moved across the floor. She ran her fingers over the smooth wood and stared inside.

“You made this?” she asked, looking back at him and he nodded. “Is this what you’ve been working on in the shed?” she asked.

“Yup,” he said, stroking his beard and she looked back at the crib, admiring its handiwork.

“Sy, this is…” she said and shook her head. “Absolutely beautiful,” she murmured.

“Wish I could give you more,” he said and she shook her head as she walked to him, draping her arms over his shoulders.

“You’ve given me enough,” she promised and kissed him, he held her close. With swift movements, he lifted her on the dining table and laid her back gently, kissing down her exposed skin. He pushed her nightgown up over her thighs and his lips trailed over the sensitive flesh there, his fingers tugging at her panties as he moved them aside. She closed her eyes feeling his tongue on her and wished she had something to clutch as the excitement rose in her belly. “Sy,” she whispered but he didn’t look up, he ate her out like it was the last time. She came screaming and clutching to his shaved head, pushing him further in.

“Happy birthday, darling,” he said, moving over her and kissing her neck. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear and she hugged him to her.

“I love you,” she replied, and he pulled her back to the edge of the table, unbuckling his belt. She closed her eyes in happiness as she felt him enter her and enjoyed each grunt he made as he fucked her with such passion. He shoved into her one last time and filled her as he had so many times before.

The rest of the day was spent together, with no fights and no disagreements. He treated her like a Queen, making her favorite dish and waiting on her hand and foot. It was one of the best birthdays she had ever had.

<<<<>>>>>

She laid in bed weeks later, just waking up and already her stomach was rolling with pain. She launched herself out of bed and into the bathroom, hanging over the toilet. She threw up the contents of her stomach, which weren’t more, and sat back on her heels, wiping at her mouth. With fevering excitement, she grabbed a pregnancy test from under the sink and sat down, pissing on the stick. She closed it back up and set it down on the counter, washing her face before brushing her teeth. Syverson was downstairs but she didn’t want to get his hopes up. When she was done, she looked at the test and stared at it, she didn’t believe it. She took another one to be sure and it came back with the same result.

She walked downstairs, listening for a sign of where he was but heard no sounds, he was either on the deck or the shed. She peered out on the deck as she crossed the dining room and saw his broad shoulders in the chair, Captain at his feet. She slipped out and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his neck.

“Morning,” he said, holding her hand and she stood, sitting in the chair beside him.

“Morning,” she replied, and he looked at her, studying her.

“Why are you all smiles?” he asked, and she laughed, shaking her head. “What?” he asked, and she held up the tests. He stared at them then looked to her and reached out, grabbing them from her. “Does this mean?” he asked, his eyes moving back to her and she nodded. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed, the loudest she had heard him yell without it being out of anger. He was on his feet and grabbed her up, wrapping his arms around her. “Thank you!” he exclaimed, kissing her.

“Thank me? Why thank me?” she asked.

“For putting up with my ass long enough to get pregnant!” he said, and she laughed, shaking her head.

“Sy, I’d put up with you for a hundred years,” she promised, and he kissed her passionately as Captain jumped around their legs, sharing in the excitement. “Shit!” he shouted again as he had set her down and looked at the tests. “Woo!” he shouted, raising his arms above his head and facing the back yard, the quiet of nature disturbed by his excitement.

“You’re going to wake the neighbors,” she said, tugging at him with a smile on her face and he shook his head.

“I don’t give a fuck!” he yelled and kissed her again, he grabbed her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders as they made out, this was the beauty after the ugliness she had waited so patiently for.


	16. Chapter 16

She rolled over in bed, blinking in the morning sun, and stared at the empty spot beside her, that was the first clue. She pulled herself out of bed, steadying, and made her way down the hall, down the stairs.

"Sy?" she called out but didn't hear a reply, she didn't hear the familiar clink of dishes as he washed them from the night before. She didn't smell the scent of coffee brewing and her heartbeat picked up, she crept down the stairs. The front door was wide open, and she stared at it for a moment, he was adamant about checking the security of the house before he went to bed, this wouldn't have happened. She opened the screen door and stepped out; his truck was gone. "Fuck," she muttered. She didn't know who to call, there was no one as his family was further East, they had been planning on visiting them soon. She went back into the house, running up the stairs and changing quickly. Captain was at her heels, barking and she gazed at him, he knew something was wrong. "C'mon Cap, let's find him," she said sliding her shoes on and grabbing her keys, heading out the door.

As the screen door slapped against the doorframe, she saw the police car coming up the driveway and she grabbed hold of the railing, trying to steady herself. She peered in through the windshield and saw Syverson in the back, he looked like absolute shit. The cop parked the car and got out, his eyes on her.

"Mrs. Syverson?" he called; it was weird to hear that last name, but she nodded. "I'm Officer Crest," he introduced as he walked closer to her and stopped at the bottom step, removing his sunglasses. "I have your husband here," he began, and she looked again to Syverson who's head was now against the back of the seat.

"What...what did he do?" she asked breathlessly.

"We got a called to the Cricket Bar," he started. "A fight broke out and your husband was involved," he stated, and she closed her eyes, sighing. She had known this was a possibility, it was all part of the PTSD and other issues stemming from military service. "He was brought down to the station but refused his phone call and what I did get out of him, well I wanted to make sure he was all right," he said.

"Thank you," she said, and he nodded.

"I've arranged for his bail to be paid but he's going to have show up in court," he said, and she nodded.

"Thank you, very much," she said, and he smiled, nodding.

"I'm a vet myself and so was my dad, I get it," he said and went back to the car, opening the door. "Come on Captain Syverson," he ordered and Syverson stepped out, his eyes quickly on her. "You all right, Mrs. Syverson?" the officer asked, and she nodded. "I'd get a deadbolt if I were you!" he called before getting in his car and backed out, she stared at Syverson. He had a black eye, a cut lip but other than that, just looked like he suffered from a massive hangover.

"Come in and get cleaned up," she instructed, turning back in the house and he followed her eventually, she heard him go upstairs. She started the coffee and sat on the back deck, staring out at the waking world. She wondered how many times she'd be woken up like this, wondered how much she'd have to do alone and how he would handle being a father. She knew he wanted the baby, but it was a big responsibility, one that he was obviously having some stress over.

She heard him step out on the deck and she looked up at him, he stared at her.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, and she nodded, pulling an empty chair closer to her.

"Come here, sit down," she offered, patting the arm of it and he took a seat, clearly sore. "I woke up this morning to an empty bed and no idea where the hell you had gone," she said, taking his hand and he gripped hers tighter than his. "Then your truck was gone, so I was going to go out and find you," she stated. "Where? I had no fucking idea, but I was going to find you," she said shrugging her shoulders. "And that's what I'll always do, I will always find you Sy, no matter where you go and what you do," she promised. "But you gotta fucking let me in," she commanded.

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't even know that was going to happen," he said with a shake of his head.

"What _did_ happen?" she asked, and he sighed.

"I don't know, all I know is that suddenly I was at the bar and some asshole was saying shit to me," he said, and she sighed.

"You need to see someone," she urged, and he growled quietly. "Sy, we're about to bring a baby into this world and into our lives, shit's not going to get easier," she stressed. "You're going to be dealing with a crying, helpless infant and I need you to have some of your shit under control, not all of it but the bigger issues," she said, and he sighed. "What if the baby sets off a trigger? What then?" she asked.

"I don't know," he said gruffly.

"And you need to know, you need to know how you're going to react to all of this stuff," she explained.

"I know," he replied.

"So, you'll get help?" she asked, and he looked at her finally.

"I'll make sure you and the baby are taking care of, that you're safe," he said.

"What does that mean, Sy?" she asked.

"That you don't have to worry," he replied, and she sighed. She knew what that meant, he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and to further the conversation would only lead to an argument. With Syverson, you had to read in between the lines and understand his tells before you pushed too far, or he'd just shut down. "I love you, Brodie," he said, and she looked at him, a smile on her lips.

"I know you do, Sy," she promised and leaned up, kissing him. "And I love you, always will," she said, and he squeezed her hand as they fell quiet, watching the deer that had come into the yard.


End file.
